There once was a young man named Phil
Who, though charming, could be quite a pill—
When instead of more kisses
He sought Saint Vevant-Levy-and Mises,
Thea said he could go straight to Hill
There onth wath a gurl named Thea
Who wath alwayth a purfek deah.
The rethult wath that thith
Led to marital blith
From the firth time Phil did thee-huh.
A couple of bozos aquaticus
Went swimming around on their twaticus
In water so long they got barnacles
All the way up to their hornicles—
They named their next offspring Theaphilus.