It has been well established that the physical act of laughing is very healthy, especially as we grow older. Also, we all have aches and pains, and a bit of laughter helps us forget them for a while. With this in mind, each Elder Journey meeting starts off with ice-breakers. These are bits of humor, each written on a separate piece of paper (in large type, of course), and passed out as we assemble. The first order of business is to go around the circle, with each person present reading his or her ice-breaker aloud. Following are a few examples from our recent meetings.

Philip Hodge, Court Jester

Some little-known units of measurement

• Basic unit of laryngitis:
  1 hoarse power
• 2000 pounds of Chinese soup:
  Won ton
• 1 millionth of a mouthwash:
  1 microscope
• Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier:
  1 Mach Turtle
• 365 days of drinking low-calorie beer:
  1 lite year
• 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone:
  1 Rod Sterling
• Half of a large intestine:
  1 semicolon
• 1000 aches:
  1 megahurts
• Weight an evangelist carries with God:
  1 billigram
• Shortest distance between two jokes:
  A straight line
• Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:
  1 bananosecond
• 10 cards:
  1 decacards
• 1 kilogram of falling figs:
  1 Fig Newton
• 1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks:
  1 literhosen
• 1 million microphones:
  1 phone
• 1 trillion microphones:
  1 megaphone
• 1 million bicycles:
  2 megacycles

Some little-known units of measurement – II

• 500 millinaries:
  1 seminary
• 2000 mockingbirds:
  2 kilomockingbirds
• 1/2 lavatory:
  1 demijohn
• 1 millionth of a fish:
  1 microfiche
• 453.6 graham crackers:
  1 pound cake
• 1 trillion pins:
  1 terrapin
• 100 rations:
  1 C-ration
• 10 speeches:
  1 decoration
• 1 million billion piccolos:
  1 gigolo
• 10 millipedes:
  1 centipede
• 3 dents:
  1 trident
• 3 1/3 tridents:
  1 decadent
• 2 monograms:
  1 diagram
• 8 nickels:
  2 paradigms
• 100 tics:
  1 hectic
• 10 aides:
  1 decade
• 0.001 female sheep:
  1 milieu
• 2 physicians:
  1 paradox
• 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital:
  1 I.V. League
• 365.25 days:
  1 unicycle
• Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter:
  1 Eskimo Pi