The Great Prince of Plasticity
Dr. Gordon S. Beavers
I’m here tonight to celebrate with decanal audicity
The retirement of a long-time friend, the great Prince of Plasticity
And of his fair and charming wife a woman of felicity
Who shared with Phil for many years a perfect domesticity
When Thea started dating Phil he knew just elasticity
But she had much more interest in the state of his chasticity
Through marriage Thea cured the Prince of a certain eccentricity
For rumor says he suffered from a slight case of narcissity
This may explain the clothes he wears which have a quaint beauticity
His shirts are brightly patterned with chaotic complexicity
And we all know that his bow ties show the multiplicity
Of the wild sartorial tastes of Phil, Prince of Plasticity
The Prince has lectured far and wide on all parts of plasticity
His work and talks are famous for their elegant simplicity
His books have sold around the world and brought him much publicity
And this despite that they contain no basic eroticity
Although Phil labored long and hard on problems of plasticity
He always managed to find time for flights of his fanticity
He saw himself a singer great with fame in operaticity
But always took his greatest pride in feats of athleticity
The highlight of his sporting life which zapped his obscuricity
Was running in a marathon with very high velicity
He won first place in his age group a triumph for tenicity
We all are proud this was achieved with no form of duplicity
Now they’ve retir’d they’ll spend their time in tranquil domesticity
They’ll fill Phil’s garden full of plants of strange, unknown ethnicity
And lots of time with grandchildren is an absolute necissity
In a little town that’s way out west just south of San Francis-city
I guess my friends you think this rhyme is close to an atricity
But even so I hope you bear no lasting animicity
And so I wish long happy years with proper authenticity
To you dear Thea and your mate the great Prince of Plasticity
GSB 30 May 1991